Stress and Aphasia
I work as a science editor, and there are some issues with my job that are causing me some serious stress. Generally, as my stress level rises, I tend to stutter and lose or confuse words, even if I’m in a relaxed setting. It’s just a symptom of stress that many people experience.
Last night after a particularly tough day at work, I stood in the bathroom flossing my teeth after a good brushing, and my husband walked in and reached around me to open the medicine cabinet to extract his toothbrush. On the sink was the case I keep my oral appliance in. (I wear a guard at night because I am suspected of grinding.) The case was due for a cleaning so I said to Mark as he was applying toothpaste, “If you do laundry tomorrow, put this in the dishwasher.”
I reached across the toilet in our tiny bathroom to throw my floss away. I righted myself and looked at my husband, who had his head tilted slightly, like dogs do when they hear odd noises, and he tried to contain his grin. Slowly, he repeated what I’d just said, with a question mark at the end: “So—if I do laundry tomorrow—you want me to put this—in the dishwasher?”
I laughed. “Oh. No. I mean…”
“I know what you mean,” he assured me reassuredly.
In the early recovery from my head injury, I had aphasia, or loss or mixing of vocabulary. My aphasia still makes its presence daily. I admit in the epilogue of My Lost Summer that I lose words all the time, and I have to ask Mark or my coworkers for help finding the right ones for the meaning I want to convey.
I wonder if the aphasia is a result of my head injury or if it’s just a natural part of my personality? If I’d never had my head injury, would I still experience this loss or confusion of words at times of stress or even every day, like I do now? Like I’ve quoted before, “[I] will never know the difference between what [I] could have been without the TBI [Traumatic Brain Injury] and what [I’ve] become.”
Aphasia wasn’t my only problem last night: after I flossed I started up the stairs to wash my face, and Mark said to me less jokey and more with concern, “Hon, haven’t you already washed your face?”
“Oh. Yeah.”
It’s stress, I tell you.
Last night after a particularly tough day at work, I stood in the bathroom flossing my teeth after a good brushing, and my husband walked in and reached around me to open the medicine cabinet to extract his toothbrush. On the sink was the case I keep my oral appliance in. (I wear a guard at night because I am suspected of grinding.) The case was due for a cleaning so I said to Mark as he was applying toothpaste, “If you do laundry tomorrow, put this in the dishwasher.”
I reached across the toilet in our tiny bathroom to throw my floss away. I righted myself and looked at my husband, who had his head tilted slightly, like dogs do when they hear odd noises, and he tried to contain his grin. Slowly, he repeated what I’d just said, with a question mark at the end: “So—if I do laundry tomorrow—you want me to put this—in the dishwasher?”
I laughed. “Oh. No. I mean…”
“I know what you mean,” he assured me reassuredly.
In the early recovery from my head injury, I had aphasia, or loss or mixing of vocabulary. My aphasia still makes its presence daily. I admit in the epilogue of My Lost Summer that I lose words all the time, and I have to ask Mark or my coworkers for help finding the right ones for the meaning I want to convey.
I wonder if the aphasia is a result of my head injury or if it’s just a natural part of my personality? If I’d never had my head injury, would I still experience this loss or confusion of words at times of stress or even every day, like I do now? Like I’ve quoted before, “[I] will never know the difference between what [I] could have been without the TBI [Traumatic Brain Injury] and what [I’ve] become.”
Aphasia wasn’t my only problem last night: after I flossed I started up the stairs to wash my face, and Mark said to me less jokey and more with concern, “Hon, haven’t you already washed your face?”
“Oh. Yeah.”
It’s stress, I tell you.
posted by Elizabeth Evans Fryer at 7:06 AM
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